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Film and TV

Something Baywatchingly amazing is about to happen

Did you ever rush home from high school to catch the 4.30pm episode of Baywatch? Maybe you also fantasised about where you’d let Matt Brody (David Charvet) or Cody Madison (David Chokachi) stick it? Yeah, me neither… But for argument’s sake if you did, strap yourself in, as something magical is about to occur.

Perhaps you rushed home from high school in order to catch the 4.30pm episode of Baywatch on Foxtel? Maybe you also fantasised about where you’d let Matt Brody (David Charvet) or Cody Madison (David Chokachi) stick it? Yeah, me neither… But for argument’s sake if you did, strap yourself in, as something magical is about to happen.

The ‘closeted gay boy of the 90s’ God is looking down on us and has decided to answer your prayers with Baywatch the movie! And it’s in cinemas Sunday May 28.

Starring the incredibly buff Zac Efron as Matt Brody, your loins will quiver just as they did during those ‘alone moments’ in 1998.

I have no doubt this film will lack plot, direction and purpose, but who needs that crap when you have flesh for days.

Check out the trailer below and let’s reminisce about a simpler time, when a Foxtel connection was life, the non-life-guarding scenes when Matt and Cody rocked a speedo made you weak at the knees, and socks were made for starching and to be kept under the bed.

You’re welcome!

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