Let’s talk about having a hole lot of fun with your ass!
Along with walking fast, anal play is one of the big perks of being a gay or bisexual guy. Whether it’s quality solo time with your favourite dildo or a little amuse-bouche before some hot fucking, good butt play can bring a whole new dimension to a sexual encounter.
And if you’re looking to level up your anal play, you’ve come to the right place. There’s a hole world of pleasure to discover inside that perfect pucker, and we’ve done the research. Read on for our seven top tips for mind-blowing butt play.
1. Hygiene comes first
We’re not here to yuck anybody’s yum… prioritising hygiene helps minimise health risks, but we know some folks get a kick out of a more ‘organic’ experience. Choose your own adventure and communicate with your partner(s) so everyone’s on the same page. Otherwise, for a perfectly polished posterior, have a shower and thoroughly clean your ass and all the surrounding real estate. Be careful using soaps and shower gels on your hole, as they can dry out or irritate the lining of your ass.
If you’re playing with a buddy, he must also be clean. If he isn’t joining you in the shower, make sure he’s at least washed his hands — the day-to-day residues on his fingers can, at best, sting but, at worst, introduce all sorts of nasties into your delicate rosebud. The same goes for any toys you’re planning to use. Make sure they’re hygienically clean and undamaged before you start. If your partners plan on fingering you — make sure those nails are trimmed and filed, too!
If you’re worried about making a mess, you may also want to douche. While it’s not something you should do every day (check out our guide to looking after your ass), and it certainly isn’t compulsory, douching can help give you peace of mind so you can relax and enjoy your playtime.
2. Get to know your hole first and learn to relax
Before you dive in, figure out what works for your hole. Practice with some smaller toys on your own and get in touch with all the nerves and muscles that make up your beautiful bussy.
It may surprise you to know that you have to learn to relax your hole. Get familiar with the feeling of ‘pushing’ to open your sphincter and letting it stay relaxed in that state. This may take some practice — as you can’t consciously control many of the muscles down there, and you may feel a natural urge to clench. But like any other muscle, the more practised and flexible your sphincter is, the better you’ll be able to use it.
3. Warm up properly
Anal penetration of any kind can be very uncomfortable if you’re not relaxed, so this is worth doing properly. Before you get into any penetrative butt play, spend a few minutes getting the muscles ready. Get your partner to rim you and get his tongue as deep as you can. Use a couple of fingers (with trimmed fingernails) to play with your hole — anything that gets the blood pumping and helps you relax.
It might sound weird, but part of this is your mental state. The secret to great anal play is tuning into your pleasure centres and figuring out what feels good. So close your eyes for a minute and take some time to connect with your body and all those delicious sensations. And if you’re not feeling it, remember there are plenty of other options besides anal play when you’re getting hot and heavy.
4. Pick a good-quality lube and use lots of it
Many guys prefer silicone-based lube for ass play because it has more ‘slip’ and lasts longer, but be aware that it can degrade some silicone toys and cock rings. Alternatively, water-based lube is safe to use with any of your favourite accessories, but it does dry out quicker, so be prepared to top it up more frequently. The important thing is to choose a high-quality lube that feels good and gives you silky smooth penetration.
Plus, lube isn’t only crucial for a pain-free and sexy fuck. It also helps protect you against tears, which can make your body more vulnerable to STIs and other infections.
5. Experiment with sensation
Your ass is rich with nerves and pleasure receptors, and there are a whole bunch of ways to engage them.
Toys are a great way to experiment with anal play, and while we link to a few in this section, Emen8 does not promote or sponsor any of these toys.
- Prostate play — The male G-spot is usually the MVP when it comes to anal play and bottoming. Located about a finger-length inside your ass, it’s capable of giving you a mind-blowing prostate orgasm without ever touching your dick. It can take some practice to figure out the best way to stimulate it, but it’s a journey worth taking.
- Stretch play — That pleasurable feeling of ‘fullness’ and stretching your hole is a big part of the joy of ass play. Once you’ve got the hang of it, try experimenting with thicker toys, anal stretchers, and butt plugs to hit all those buttons at the same time. Make sure it has a base so that it doesn’t get lost up there!
- Depth play — When you’re bottoming, most cocks won’t make it past the rectum, which is about the first six inches inside your hole. But just a bit further in, the sigmoid colon is past the ‘second door’ (known as the ‘rectosigmoid junction’). It’s very sensitive tissue, and a lot of guys find it really pleasurable to stimulate this area with a very long toy (or an exceptionally long cock). It can take some practice, and you need to be careful with your delicate insides, but there’s no sensation quite like it. You often need to reapply lube to the toy or cock, until enough has made its way in deeper. Be aware that this is also where the bulk of your shit gets stored, so you may want to consider a thorough douche if this interests you.
- Vibration — Vibrators are used mostly for prostate stimulation and can bring a new level of intensity to your ass play. Some guys find the stimulation extreme, to the point of being almost unbearable (in a good way). Experiment with different shapes and settings to find the one that works for you. If you want something with a bit of rumble that’s not hammering directly on your prostate, try inserting your favourite dildo and then put the head of a vibrator against your perineum (the space between the anus and the genitals).
6. Engage your muscles
It’s easy to think of ass play as passive — your hole is just receiving whatever gets put inside it, right?
Wrong! If you learn to use the muscles of your ass, you can find incredible new ways to stimulate yourself. Toys with ribs or bumps can really shine when you give them a gentle clench and tug. Or insert a toy so it’s resting against your prostate and try a rhythmic squeeze-and-release movement — butt plugs are great for this because they’re usually the perfect length to really hit your spot with the rounded head.
Needless to say, using this trick to milk your partner’s cock is going to melt their brain.
7. Most importantly — look after your ass
Your ass does a lot for you — make sure you’re looking after it as well.
Your sexual health strategy might mean being on PrEP, maintaining an undetectable viral load, always using a condom when sharing toys, or having open conversations with partners about how you’ll look after each other. Whatever it is, safe sex = good sex.
Stay on top of what’s going on down there. If you notice any pain or bleeding, it could be a sign of fissures (tears in the lining of your ass) or haemorrhoids. Give your hole a break so it can heal properly. This is especially true if you’ve been doing any stretch or depth play. If it doesn’t resolve in a week, see your doctor.
Similarly, if you or your partner has had any digestive issues within the last week, including diarrhoea, cramps or vomiting, stay away from ass play. These could be signs of shigella or something else that can be passed on through butt play.
Check for any unusual bumps, sores or ulcers around your ass as well. These could be symptoms of mpox (monkeypox) or an STI such as syphilis, HPV (warts) or HSV (herpes), which can all be passed on through skin-to-skin contact.
If you notice any of these symptoms, book yourself in to get a full STI test and avoid any sexual contact in the meantime.
Butt play can be a fun and thrilling part of gay sex, so why not try a few of these tips to spice up your solo sessions or late-night-lays with partners. From rimming to toys, you’re sure to find something that hits the spot!