Long considered borderline fetish behaviour, eating ass is now firmly in the mainstream. What a time for gay men to be alive!
For guys who are into guys, rimming (otherwise known as ‘eating ass’) is often a big part of foreplay. Tactile, sensual and a bit taboo, it’s one of the hottest ways to explore and stimulate a guy’s most intimate areas. Whether it’s just some light play or a warm up for a longer, deeper session, eating his ass is a vital skill in your sexual arsenal (pun intended).
And like any skill, your rimming prowess can benefit from a little technical guidance. Read on for our gentleman’s guide to rimming, and you’ll be eating him out of house and home in no time. Bon appétit!
Good rimming starts (and finishes) with good hygiene
Let’s get this out of the way first: licking someone’s hole – aka, eating it out – is never guaranteed to be sanitary.
That said, you should both make every effort to be as clean as possible. If you’re going to receive a rimjob, make sure you’ve had a shower and cleaned your ass. If you’re using soap or shower gel, go easy as these can dry out the delicate skin of your anus.
If you’re planning to get into some heavier ass play or penetration, you may also choose to douche – check out our tips for treating your ass right.
It’s important to clean up afterwards as well. Make sure you brush your teeth, rinse with mouthwash and wash your face thoroughly. Even the cleanest ass is home to bacteria, and nobody looks good with pinkeye.
Rimmin’ risks
No one likes a party pooper, so it’s always good to understand the possible risks from rimming.
Some bacteria and viruses have a habit of hanging out in butts and throats — even without any noticeable symptoms. So, naturally, when you bring the two together there’s the possibility of STI transmission.
Some of the key risks of rimming include coming in to contact with STIs such as:
Not to mention parasites and bacteria that can also pass through the ass and make you sick; think E.Coli and Shigella. Using a dam as a barrier device helps reduce the risk.
Condoms, dams or otherwise — if you’re enjoying an active sex life, it’s important to go for comprehensive sexual health tests every three months. Find your nearest testing service here.
Red flags: when to postpone rimming or eating ass
We’re almost into the #NSFW stuff, but there are a few things to look out for before anyone’s salad gets tossed.
Postpone playtime if you have any tears, noticeable bleeding or haemorrhoids – give yourself some time to heal. Likewise, if either of you has had any digestive upsets within the last week, including diarrhea, cramps or vomiting, you should steer clear of any ass play. These could be signs of shigella or hepatitis.
Any unusual bumps, sores or ulcers around your ass or mouth could also be symptoms of an STI such as HPV (warts) or HSV (herpes), which can spread through rimming.
And while it’s hard to stop when it’s getting hot and heavy, remember that protecting yourself first is the most important thing to keep you and your partner(s) safe.
If you notice any of these symptoms, book yourself in to get a full STI test and avoid any sexual contact in the meantime.
For the lowdown on your HIV risk when it comes to all things oral, check out Oral fixation – the juiciest info dripping from our lips about blow jobs, rimming and kissing.
It’s not just about the hole
There’s a lot more to rimming than just ‘tongue-in-ass’. The groin, perineum, buttocks and scrotum are all absolutely fair game in a rim job.
Use your hands. Reach around and explore the territory. Run your fingertips along the inside of his thighs. Cup his balls and swipe your tongue along the ‘taint’. Give his ass cheeks a playful swat with your palm, or a gentle nip with your teeth. The more sensation you can bring to the experience, the more pleasurable it will be for him.
“There’s a lot more to rimming than just ‘tongue-in-ass’.”
One important note: If he’s a trans man, it’s not a good idea to alternate between eating his ass and his front hole. This runs the risk of transferring bacteria to his front hole, which can cause infections. For more inclusive and sex positive sexual health info for trans men and their cis male sexual partners check out GRUNT.
Pay attention to him
Take your cues from your partner and check in with him during sex. While it may not always be possible to talk, pay attention to how he responds. If he’s pushing back onto you, moaning and grinding the mattress, take it as an endorsement to keep doing what you’re doing. If there’s silence from the other end of the bed and he seems stiff or tense, he’s probably not enjoying himself, so you may want to check in.
What feels good for him can change as you rim or eat his ass. Your soft beard on his hole might drive him crazy for a couple of minutes, and then start to scratch. He might want you as deep as possible from the get-go, or he might prefer to warm up with some gentle licking before you tongue-punch him.
Timing is everything
Nobody wants a surprise role in The Human Centipede. Rimming is great, but there are times when ass eating is probably not ideal.
Check in with your gut before and during your rim job. Any spicy food, alcohol or dietary intolerances (e.g. dairy or gluten) can irritate the lining of your ass, and potentially cause embarrassing consequences.
If you’ve douched, make sure you’ve ejected all of the water before you sit on his face. Take your time. If you have any doubts or twinges whatsoever, call it off. You’re not going to be able to relax and enjoy yourself if you’re worried about making a mess the whole time.
Stubble = trouble: body hair and eating ass
There’s more than one place to get pash rash!
Coarse stubble can feel like sandpaper on his hole, so burying your prickly face in his ass might not be much fun for him. If you can’t do a smooth shave, try a lighter approach to rimming using just your tongue and fingertips. Again, pay attention to his reactions and body language to see if he’s enjoying it.
This goes both ways. If you groom your body hair, be aware that your ‘intimate stubble’ can also cause irritation, especially to the sensitive skin around his mouth and nose. Body hair that’s been shaved or clippered is often coarser than hair that’s regrown after waxing or laser. Work out the best grooming regime for your bits, so he can eat your ass out without breaking out.
“… you’ll be eating him out of house and home in no time.”
Mix it up
You can’t make beautiful music if you’re only playing one note.
One of the best pieces of advice on rimming is to make out with your partner’s hole like you’re making out with a mouth. In terms of sensation, a ‘kissing’ action offers a lot of variation in texture and pressure which stops the desensitising effect of doing the same thing continuously.
Try different movements and directions, using all the parts of your mouth. Write his name with the tip of your tongue letter by letter. Alternating light brushes of your lips with deeper ‘thrusting’ movements can feel incredible. Take pauses and use your breath on his skin to build anticipation. Different positions will give you different access to his erogenous zones, so try them out and see what he likes.
If you’re bringing in penetration, do it at the end
One of the best parts of getting your ass rimmed or eaten is the anticipation of what’s coming, whether it’s more ass play (like fingering, toys or fisting) or going straight into getting fucked.
Deeper penetration is much smoother and more pleasurable with lube. It’s also more likely to bring out any traces of shit from deeper inside the rectum. We’re not going to yuck anyone else’s yum if you’re into that — just be aware that both of these things can potentially be big turn-offs for oral play, so wait until you’re both ready to move on from rimming completely before you progress to penetration.
Frequently asked questions
What is rimming?
Rimming, also known as ‘eating ass’, is the act of licking or orally pleasuring someone’s ass.
What are the risks of rimming/”eating ass”?
Rimming carries the risk of STIs such as chlamydia, herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, syphilis, and hepatitis A. Bacteria and parasites such as E. Coli and Shigella also present a risk. Using a dam helps reduce your risk.
Are there situations when I should avoid rimming?
Yes! Avoid rimming if there are visible signs of sores, ulcers, bumps, or bleeding in the mouth or ass. If you or your partner has had any illnesses during the week — especially an upset stomach — avoid rimming.
What areas should be stimulated during a rim job?
While the ass is the main focus, don’t forget the surrounding areas. The perineum, scrotum, groin and buttocks can all enhance the experience.
How do I ensure my partner enjoys rimming?
The key is to pay attention to your partner’s reactions. If he seems to be enjoying himself, continue; if he seems uncomfortable, check in and adjust your actions.
When should I bring in penetration during rimming?
If you plan on including penetration in your play, leave it for the end. Deep penetration might bring out traces of shit, which could make you unwell if it gets in your mouth.