Oral fixation – A guide to oral sex for gay and bi guys

By Chris Williams, updated 7 days ago in Sex and dating / Sex

Two men licking a strawberry

We’ve prepared a feast of tasty tips on oral pleasure, as well as the juiciest facts for maximising your HIV and STI protection and enjoyment during oral sex. Whether you’re salivating over kissing, blow jobs, rimming or swallowing cum, we’ve got everything you want to know.

So there I was with this huge, throbbing, urgent matter before me. Salivating with anticipation to get my laughing gear around it, I began to figure out the best angle of approach to get deep – all the way in. So close to the tip of my tongue I could practically taste it, just waiting for me to suck the juiciest drops from the lip smackingly delicious topic that is: oral sex!

Milked out of the general population just once a decade and last published in November 2014, The Australian Study of Health and Relationships (ASHR) looks at the ways in which we all enjoy getting our rocks off. Its Sex in Australia Summary tells us a whopping 88% of men in Australia have experienced fellatio – the posh word for describing oral stimulation of a man’s penis.

Those two fat eights are big enough to choke on! Considering such a large majority of us are gagging for it, I was champing at the bit to get my teeth into this tasty topic.

The trouble with oral sex jokes is they suck!

So why don’t you sit back, relax, and allow me to whet your appetite with some scrumptious suggestions any champion cocksucker will eagerly chow down on?

5 tips for mind-blowing oral sex

1. Eye contact

Mouths are important, but eyes never lie. Look right in their eyes when you’re sucking and you might feel more than physically connected. Looking at each other during sex is also a great way to know if they like what you’re doing. Locking eyes can also be very hot for the person you’re giving head to!

2. Play ball(s)

Don’t leave his balls feeling shafted. His balls and sack are full of nerve endings which feel amazing when played with. Kissing, licking and gently sucking on those swingers will have him eating out of your palm in no time.

3. Rim their hole

Speaking of eating out, try going downtown. Head south past the guiche – also known as the perineum – between their arsehole and nutsack. The groin, perineum, buttocks and scrotum are all absolutely fair game in a rim job. Use your hands, lips, tongue and fingers, the more sensation you can bring to the experience, the more pleasurable it will be for him. Take your time, remember tossed salad is a delicacy never to be devoured in too much of a rush. If you’re interested in upping your rimming game, check out our Gentleman’s Guide to Rimming.

4. Experiment with temperature

If he needs to let off steam, warm breath on wet skin might crank the heat up, but for a real chilly thriller suck on an ice cube first.

5. Be loud

Oral sex doesn’t necessarily mean talking about it, but increase their aural pleasure and let them hear you getting something out of it… work it for long enough and you might.

6. Change up your technique

Get your partner squirming with sensations by changing up the amount of suction, spit and depth of your strokes. Try sucking your cheeks in, like his dick is a lollypop and milk him for every ounce of pleasure. Stop for a moment to regain some saliva or have a quick drink. If you don’t have much of a gag reflex, try deepthroating or changing up how far down their cock you suck. Always check in with your partner or listen for moans and groans, to see what they like (so you can do it again!)

A blowjob makes your day, but anal makes your hole weak!

HIV and STI information for oral sex

I’d built up a thirst thinking about it all, and there was only one way to quench what I needed. Hungry for loads of information on maximising my pleasure and safety I wanted to squeeze every last drip of sexual health info I could drain out of my sources.

I’m not one to ram it down your throat, but here are a few bite size chunks to keep in mind. You never know when they might be useful to just roll off your tongue…

Condoms, dams and STIs

Be honest – do you always go down on a donger with a rubber on it, and only eat ass through latex?

Even if you do, both condoms and dams do a great job of reducing the chance of getting STIs, but they don’t always fully cover infected areas, even when used every time.

There’s also no guarantee you can tell if you or someone else has an STI just by looking. Regular testing will help ensure you’re treated for any symptomless STIs early and nip them in the bud, reducing the likelihood of passing them on to someone else or being an inconvenience to you.

And it’s OK – STIs are really just a normal part of having sex. The common ones are easily treated with a short course of antibiotics. Ask your doctor about getting vaccinated against Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and HPV as well.

Bacterial STIs – Gonorrhea and Chlamydia

Gonorrhea and chlamydia can be transferred during oral sex. They are bacterial STIs, so even if you don’t have symptoms you can still pass them on from your throat to his dick and vice versa.

The great news is these are straightforward enough to treat if caught early by making sure you go for sexual health checkups once every three to six months. Treatment is usually quick and easy with a short course of antibiotics. Holding off from any sexual activity for a week after finishing treatment and letting your partners know to go and get tested should prevent any STIs from being passed from you to someone else and then back to you again.

HIV

Getting HIV from giving head is so rare it’s considered very low risk.

That risk can increase slightly if you have an STI in your throat or if you have sores or cuts in your mouth, bleeding gums, or after a dental procedure like tooth extraction.

If the anxiety of getting HIV is getting you down, help is at hand. PrEP is a highly effective HIV prevention strategy that allows you to take control of your own health and protection against HIV, and it works around the clock regardless of the choices you make in the heat of the moment.

Kissing

As it turns out, you can get more than just a cold from kissing. It’s possible to get an STI too.

Transfer of herpes simplex virus (HSV) is not uncommon. You might know HSV-1 better as cold sores and HSV-2 as genital herpes. Although there is no cure, there are medicines that can prevent or shorten outbreaks.

In addition to this, we now have convincing evidence that gonorrhea is transmitted by kissing. Not a peck on the cheek, of course, but something a bit more passionate that involves some transfer of saliva! Going for a sexual health checkup at least once every three months is a great way to help identify anything before it becomes a concern to you or your partner(s). You can use our interactive map to find testing services near you.

Sucking dick

There are a few orally acquired STIs you might encounter as a result of giving someone a blowjob, but keep calm and carry on sucking up the facts.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are all possible to pick up while you’re busy licking dick. The good news is they’re all straightforward to test for and treat.

Spit or swallow?

HIV can be present in semen (cum and pre-cum). If you do get semen in your mouth, it’s best to get it out quickly. The longer semen is in your mouth, the more potential for HIV to find an entry point into your body. Spitting or swallowing are both ways to do this. Even if you swallow semen, any HIV that may be there will usually be killed by the strong acids in your stomach.

Getting sucked

Even if you’re getting head, there’s still a chance of acquiring some STIs.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can be transferred from mouth to cock. A simple test can identify these and treatment is easy when they’re picked up quickly.

Rimming

I don’t want to be all tongue in cheek about it, but as we’re probing into this, there’s something I should mention about rimming.

Shigella is a group of bacteria that can cause bowel infections. Symptoms include stomach cramps, diarrhea (sometimes with blood and or mucus), fever and nausea. These can appear between 12 hours and four days after exposure. Someone with shigella may experience no, mild or severe symptoms. In most cases, recovery takes between four and seven days but may take longer.

If you have diarrhea, drink plenty of fluids. Oral re-hydration solutions can also be given to replace electrolytes and assist with re-hydration. Treatments which slow down the diarrhea can be harmful but antibiotics may be used to treat the infection. In severe cases, especially for HIV-positive people, hospitalisation may be needed.

If you do have any symptoms of shigella it’s best to seek medical advice from a doctor or sexual health clinic.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can also be contracted from a butt buffet. They’re easy to test and get treated for.

Getting rimmed

Even if you’re being eaten alive, there’s still a chance you could encounter some STIs.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can be transmitted from mouth to arse. An effortless test can check for these and treatment’s no trouble.

Let somebody know you’ve had an STI

Go on. Be a good sport. If you’re nice enough to get it on with him, I reckon you’re nice enough to do him another favour. Let all your sexual partners know to go and get tested and treated too.

If you’re not comfortable telling someone straight up and would prefer a nil by mouth approach, you can still choose to send an anonymous text message or email.

Discover more in The other important chat – how to tell someone you’ve been diagnosed with an STI.

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