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Hair and grooming

Peach, pouch and pickle – the Emen8 guide to intimate hair removal

There really is nothing quite like the feeling of a smooth, hairless scrotum, whether it’s yours or someone else’s.

If you’re a guy who enjoys the heightened sensation and soft feel of bare skin, there are a lot of ways to achieve and maintain the smooth body you’re after. There are also a few pitfalls to look out for — and a couple of things you can do to stay hairless and healthy.

Read on for our quick guide to keeping hair removal safe, effective and super sexy.

1. Pick the option which will work best for you.

Shaving is the simplest option. You can do it yourself, it’s cheap, it’s painless, and it’s easy to touch up. Using a sharp razor will help avoid any nicks. The downside is that it will grow back quickly, so you’ll probably need to do it at least once a week to keep your skin smooth. It also cuts the hair down to a blunt end, so the stubble can feel quite coarse, prickly and irritating (and not just for you).

Waxing has a few advantages over shaving in that you stay smooth for longer, and the hair grows back softer and finer. You can go a month to six weeks without needing another wax, and it’s better to have about a half centimetre of regrowth for the wax to grip. The trade-off? Waxing can hurt — depending on your pain threshold and which part of your body is being treated It’s also quite tricky to do yourself.

Laser hair removal is for the dedicated groomer. It’s a professional, permanent treatment that uses high-intensity light to damage the hair follicle, with the aim of destroying it completely. It works most effectively on thick, dark hair and lighter skin, and it takes a few rounds of treatments before the results are noticeable. It also feels like a white-hot electric wasp repeatedly stinging your balls/gooch/anus, which may or may not be your jam.

“…squeaky-clean balls under a glorious 1970s bush can look a bit unbalanced”

Depilatory creams are probably not a good idea on sensitive areas. While they’re very thorough and great for those hard-to-reach places, they can easily take off a couple of layers of skin along with the hair.

2. Consider the whole look and feel.

Your grooming is part of your personal style, so take a minute to think about it. There is no one-size-fits-all. Do some research. Consider your skin tone, proportions, how it’s going to look from different angles, and how it might feel. Does going completely smooth highlight your assets or flatten them out? Do you really want to laser it off forever-ever? Is your buddy going to get pash rash when he rims your three-day regrowth?

Also think about how much body hair you have elsewhere and how it all looks together. If you’re smooth but like to leave a landing strip, consider trimming it with clippers — squeaky-clean balls under a glorious 1970s bush can look a bit unbalanced.

And if you’re keeping some or all of your pubes, don’t forget about the ‘extra inch’ you can achieve by clearing a small strip right around the base of your shaft. It may be an optical illusion, but it’s not technically lying.

3. No sex for 24 hours.

It’s understandable to want to debut your fresh look as soon as possible, but try to keep your pants on for at least 24 hours.

“It’s understandable to want to debut your fresh look as soon as possible, but try to keep your pants on for at least 24 hours.”

This will give your skin time to heal. Even if you can’t see them, there is a risk of tiny nicks, cuts and tears with any hair-removal treatment, and the friction of a play session will only make them worse. These tiny wounds can offer a direct pathway through the skin for STIs like gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis, and a condom won’t cover them. A 2016 study published in the Sexually Transmitted Infections journal has even linked intimate hair removal with a greater risk of contracting an STI, and these micro-tears were one of the hypothesised causes.

Bear in mind that other things can aggravate your skin and slow the healing process as well. Wait a day or two after hair removal before you expose your intimate areas to strong sunlight or go swimming (both chlorine and seawater can dry out and irritate your skin).

4. Pay attention to after-care.

The job isn’t done just because the hair is gone. Once the redness has faded, gently exfoliate to remove debris and help prevent ingrown hairs. This will also help keep the area soft and silky smooth. Use a light moisturiser afterwards to keep your skin hydrated without clogging up all those traumatised follicles.

If you do get ingrown hairs, try not to pick at them or break the skin — again, this is an open doorway for STIs and other infections. The hair will eventually come to the surface on its own and you’ll be able to gently tweeze it out. If you really don’t want to wait, there are plenty of lotions on the market which can help soften the skin to speed the process.

And you’re done! With some patience and a little maintenance, your silky-smooth skin will always be ready for public appreciation. Get out there and show it off.

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