The orgasm gets a lot of great press.
It’s literally the climax of human sexual pleasure, and for cisgender guys, it’s often associated with the penis.
But there’s another incredible little organ — the prostate — that, when stimulated, produces a whole different sort of orgasm. Located just behind the base of your penis, this walnut-sized gland is a major player in making your favourite body fluid — semen! (We wrote a whole article about it — we’re a bit obsessed.)
While the anatomy is fascinating, we want to talk a bit more about the really important stuff: how to get more of that life-changing, mind-blowing prostate orgasm. For anyone who knows what it feels like, this needs no further explanation — you’re probably still glowing from the last one.
For those who haven’t, lube up and join us for a little intimate exploration of prostate stimulation. We’re going to help you get acquainted with your most glorious gland — and discover why it’s called the ‘G-spot’ for people with a prostate.
Do a little preparation
You’re about to get involved with your hole, so have a shower and make sure you’re clean and ready to play. Some guys like to douche for arse play — especially if it’s with a friend — and it can help make penetration a bit more comfortable. You may also want to empty your bladder — prostate stimulation can feel a bit like needing to pee, initially. If you’re planning to use any toys, like dildos or vibrators, make sure they’re clean and undamaged, and suitable for ass play (they have a base).
Most importantly, get in the mood! If you’re doing it with a partner, rimming is a great way to engage all those nerves around your hole. The more aroused and relaxed you are, the more pleasurable it’s going to be.
Make sure you’re good to go
If you have any tears, noticeable bleeding, or haemorrhoids, postpone your play session until you’ve had some time to heal. Check in with anyone who’s joining you as well. You should put off your prostate exploration if any of you have had any digestive upsets in the past week, like cramps, diarrhea, or vomiting. These could be signs of shigella or hepatitis, which can be passed on through arse play.
There are also a few STIs like mpox, syphilis, HPV (warts) and HSV (herpes), that can spread through skin-to-skin contact. Avoid any sexual contact if you or your partner notice any unusual bumps, sores, rashes or ulcers.
If you notice any of these symptoms, book yourself in to get a full STI test and avoid any sexual contact in the meantime.
Make sure you also have an HIV prevention method in place. This could be condoms, an undetectable viral load or PrEP. It’s also best to avoid sharing toys with your partner. Toys need to be cleaned properly (with hot, soapy water or disinfectant) in between uses.
Lube up and be gentle
We’re looking for delicious, friction-free penetration, so take some time to lube up your hole. Whether you’re using a toy, fingers, or any other body part, make sure it’s clean, smooth (no long nails!) and covered in enough lube to slide in and out of your anus without catching or dragging. You can use water-based lube (or silicone if you’re not using silicone toys), but in either case, you’ll probably need to top up during your session.
Find your prostate from the outside first
Yes! You can stimulate your prostate from the outside. To do this, find the soft spot on your perineum (or ‘taint’ — that wonderful patch between your balls and your hole). Apply gentle, repeated pressure on this spot — if you’ve got the right place, you’ll feel a slight feeling of needing to pee and a surging in your cock and balls.
If you’re enjoying the sensation, feel free to keep going! With some lube and the right rhythm, it’s even possible to stimulate a prostate orgasm from the outside. A vibrator (or a massage gun) in this same spot can also feel incredible, and this is definitely something you can try with a partner.
Once you’re comfortable, stimulate the prostate on the inside
The easiest way to do this is with a finger. Slide your finger inside the anus and press gently towards the front of your body, about 8 cm (a finger length) in. The prostate feels like a soft, fleshy ‘bulb’ or ‘nut’ compared to the surrounding tissue. Again, once you get it, you’ll feel that ‘surge’ or the minor sensation of needing to pee.
Use your fingers to work out your rhythm
Your fingers are a great place to start because they give you more control and have a better range of motion than a toy (or a dick). If you’re doing it with a partner, using your fingers lets you both feel what’s happening – it’s also sensual, intimate and hot asf.
Everyone’s body is different, and it may take a little experimentation to find the stimulation that works best for you and/or your partners prostate. The gland responds to rhythmic, pulsing movements more than constant pressure, so keep mixing it up until you find out what primes your pump. A few good techniques include:
- The Button – Using one or two fingers, press forward with the pad of your finger(s) in the middle of the prostate and then release as though you were pushing a button. Repeat with variations in pressure and duration.
- The Shiver – Short, vibrating motions can feel incredible, and they don’t require a lot of movement if you’re still getting used to having things in your arse. With a finger or two resting on your prostate, ‘shiver’ your hand back and forth as quickly as possible.
- The Tickle – Using one or two fingers, curl your finger(s) in a ‘tickling’ or ‘come hither’ movement. The tip of your finger should slide across or clip the prostate each time. Mix it up with more fingers and gradually increase your pace.
- The Volume Control – Move your finger(s) in a circular motion around the edges of the prostate, as though you were ‘turning up the volume’ – get it right, and you just might be! Move it in both directions and alternate with light brushes across the centre.
What does a prostate orgasm feel like?
It’s safe to say you’ll know when it happens.
A prostate orgasm is more intense and longer lasting than a penile orgasm. A penile orgasm mostly involves the nerves and tissue of your genitals, with an explosive external focus (that spectacular cumshot we all love). A prostate orgasm is often described as implosive instead, coming from deep within, or as an intense ‘bliss state’ that lights up your whole body. It also has a much shorter refractory period than a penile orgasm, meaning you’re ready to go again sooner.
You may not be hard when you have a prostate orgasm, and you may not ejaculate. Some guys find that they release a thin, whitish fluid similar to cum, which is actually just the secretions your prostate would normally contribute to your semen. This is why prostate stimulation is sometimes called ‘milking’.
What if it doesn’t happen?
While theoretically, everyone with a prostate is capable of having a prostate orgasm, it can take some practice. If you enjoy it but don’t quite climax, try again another time, maybe with different techniques or toys. Working out how to build your orgasm is a magical journey all on its own, and makes the reward that much better.
It might also just be something that’s not practical or pleasurable for you. Some guys don’t enjoy the feeling or never get there at all. If this is you, don’t worry — there are still plenty of other ways to enjoy your body, with or without a partner.
Keep it safe and hygienic
Once you’ve had your fun, make sure you thoroughly clean any toys you’ve been using (with hot, soapy water or disinfectant) and wash your hands and ass thoroughly. This will help minimise the risk of passing on STIs and ensure everything is hygienic and ready for your next play session.
If you’re playing with a partner, why not check in with them post-play with some aftercare? There are no rules for what this looks like, but it could include cuddling, talking, taking a shower together, and having a snack or drink.